Ask the Googly

The Googly knows all

Dear The Googly,
On January 19th, the National Day of Service, I am doing my part to stop Global Warming. After reading your post of Jan 2, I am quitting my day job to become a pirate. I am finding it difficult however to find the appropriate supplies needed for my new endeavor. Suggestions?
~Mimpi Manis



Dear Mimpi,
One of my favorite Buccaneer Boutiques is the Pirate Supply Store at 826 Valencia in San Francisco. They also have an online store and stock such swarthy staples as designer glass eyes, Scurvy Begone, educational / inspirational posters, and the proverbial bestseller: Mermaid Bait or Repellent.

Established in 2002 by Dave Egger of McSweeney's fame, 826 Valencia is actually a non-profit, that tutors children and teaches them to write. Sales from the store benefit the center which now has many outposts, hopefully coming to a city near you soon. (Be sure to check out the very funny FAQs page)
Yours truly, The Googly
Send your burning questions to The Googly, click the contact button

Ask The Googly

The Googly knows all

Dear The Googly,
The issue of Global warming is of great concern to me. As my outdoor tropical plantscape withers of frostbite, the heating bills for my palatial mansion escalate, and my recently acquired collection of hand-embroidered Nepalese hot-pants remains unworn, who (or what), may I blame this on?
~SemiPrecious Jones

Dear Semi,
You are not alone, this winter many of us have suffered the sub-zero horrors of Global Warming. The cause of this inconvenience is not (as some believe) caused by human industrial off-gassing, but is (as evidenced in the chart below) the result of a precipitous drop in the population of pirates. (For more timely research on this and other vital topics, pasta philosophy and numerous objets d'art, visit the Venganza site and its noodly appendage.



Armed with this new knowledge, The Googly hopes you will stop writing your congress people; return to buying large recreational vehicles; and search out any and all available pirates in your neighborhood and procreate with them.
Yours truly, The Googly
Send your burning questions to The Googly, click the contact button